Interdependence: “You and me” instead of “Us”
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Interdependence: “You and me” instead of “Us”

Troyka Lunar

August 20, 2021


    Being in a romantic relationship is one thing while maintaining that relationship is another thing. Some couples end up going separate ways because one feels unvalued by the other. On the other hand, some couples decide to call it quits because they have become too dependent on one another. So, how do you deal with it? Well, that’s when interdependence comes into the picture.

    According to MBG Relationships, interdependency is characterized by two autonomous individuals who can care and nurture the relationship without sacrificing or compromising their own sense of self. These types of couples don’t compromise; they meet halfway. To explain it further, here’s a list of what interdependence is all about.

    You love one another, but you know that it pays to love yourself as well.

    It’s not enough that you only love your partner. It is more important that you know how to love yourself. You won’t seek validity and security because you know what you deserve, and you know that you are enough. Loving yourself first makes loving other people easier. As other people always say, “You cannot give what you do not have.” Fill in your love tank first. And when it is already flowing with love, share it with other people. Then, everything else will follow.

    Having your partner around makes you happy, but “me time” is also a must.

    Spending time with your loved one never fails to give an incomparable feeling of happiness. But what happens to you if your partner had to be away from you for a certain period? Well, that is why your happiness should not depend on other people. It should come from yourself. Value your solitude. Re-visit the feeling of freedom so that you will appreciate your partner’s presence in your life.

    You seek your partner’s support, but you can calm yourself down whenever you feel like you must.

    There is no other feeling better than knowing that someone will always have your back whenever you are experiencing difficulties. However, your partner is not going to be with you 24/7. There will be days when you must figure things out on your own, and it’s okay. Ask help if you must but remember to know how to stand up for yourself as well.

    You share each other’s dreams, but you have a personal goal for yourself.

    One of the most exciting and unforgettable memories of being in a relationship is when you and your partner build your dreams together. Then, you’ll finally see those dreams unfolding one by one right before your eyes. Aside from your relationship goals, it is also of great importance to have and pursue your personal goal. Share your plans with your partner and work your way together to achieve each other’s personal goals.

    You are happy to put so much of yourself in your relationship, but you have the courage to go on separate ways when the relationship becomes unhealthy.

    If a relationship becomes unhealthy and you think you’ve done everything you can to work things out, be brave enough to walk away. If you can’t save the relationship, at least try to save what’s left of you. Going back to point number one, you should always decide to love yourself first before doing the same to other people. Heal and make yourself whole again. After all, you can always start all over again when you are already better for each other.

    Always remember that there is a big difference between being dependent, independent, and interdependent. Keep in mind that you must balance things out with your partner. Losing oneself in a relationship defeats the real purpose of being in a relationship. Remember: a healthy relationship is composed of two whole individuals who help and allow each other to grow while also taking into consideration their own personal growth. When you involve yourself in a relationship, it’s not supposed to be “us.” It’s supposed to be “you and me.”


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