Being in a long-term relationship often comes with expectations about what should happen next. After dating for years, couples may be asked when they are getting married, when they are having children, or when they are finally settling down.

In a Filipino family setting, these questions can feel even more familiar. Family members may casually ask about marriage during reunions, while parents and relatives may already imagine what a couple’s future should look like. But not every relationship moves according to the same timeline.

One partner may feel ready for the next chapter while the other still needs time. That does not necessarily mean the relationship is going nowhere.

This is something that KZ Tandingan and TJ Monterde have also opened up about. During a recent guest appearance on Gandang Gabi Vice, KZ revealed that she once considered leaving TJ because she felt she could no longer give him the love and attention he deserved. KZ said that while TJ is ready to have a child, she isn’t ready to carry one yet.

As a woman, she said she wants to make sure that she is not “a baby taking care of a baby.” She explained that being a parent is a lifelong commitment that requires more than just being financially prepared.

Their situation also highlights an important distinction, that there is a difference between not being ready for a life change and not being ready to build a life with someone. It is reasonable for someone to need more time before taking those steps, especially when they understand the responsibilities that come with them.

For TJ, giving KZ that time is part of making the decision together. He said he fully supports KZ’s decision to postpone having a child for now. “When it comes to having a child, it should be a mutual decision,” he said in Filipino. “It can’t just be my decision because there are two of us as parents.”

Ultimately, there is no universal schedule for these milestones. What matters is whether both people can openly discuss what they want and why they need more time.

A couple does not necessarily need to move at exactly the same pace. You can take different steps at different speeds, as long as you are still having the conversation about the future you want to build together.