RELATIONSHIP AND SEX
UNSENT LETTER: To the person I’ll keep on choosing forever
October 19, 2018
It is not fair to say that what we have is forever. The concept of you and I, no matter how wonderful we see it, may not be for the rest of our lives. I’m not saying that this won’t work out or I’m not trusting us enough that this will work out.
I am just tired of holding on too much.
You see, the last time I held on, I got broken to pieces and I do not even know how to pick up my own shattered self. I even needed you just to put back myself together.
But that does not mean I will not choose you. That does not mean I will not try to fight for you. That does not mean I do not want a life with you. It is just that I am preparing for that possible day. I am preparing myself for the time that even if I keep on choosing you, you will not choose me anymore. I just want to be ready for the time when you will just let go of me and what we have. I just want to be ready to accept that there might be a day that you do not see a life with me anymore.
I am not losing hope. Believe me, every day I am hoping that you and I will not end. God knows how many whispers I had to do asking Him that when I wake up the next day you are still here–we are still here. I am not giving up on us. I am just being realistic. Because we will get old, we will have different priorities. We will have different paths and dreams.
But if things will work out the way I want them to be, would I force it?
Of course, not.
I will not force it because I do not want you here with me but unhappy. I do not want you staying but not growing. I will not ask again if on the third time you will say that you are not happy anymore. Not happy with me, not happy with us.
Because I am still choosing you. I am choosing what will make you happy. I will fight for whatever makes you grow as a person. Even if all these means not spending a lifetime or two with you.
One day, you will read this letter and who knows who you are with. But wherever we are on that moment, whoever we have become, always know that I chose you even if that means not being with you.
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