RELATIONSHIP AND SEX
The Confessions of an Alpha Woman to Men
November 6, 2015
To you who thinks that it’s hard to love me, I knew that before the whole world knew.
I am the alpha just like what everybody says. I get what I want. But I swear, I use no one for my plans to succeed. I work hard for it. Everything that I am now is because of my passion and hard work. Even before you came everything was planned inside my head and not even you can stop it. Believe me, I woke up like this.
I can do what you can and it’s not meant to insult you. It’s innate. You can’t just stop me from doing it just because you’re the man. I buy cars and drives them recklessly. I pay dinner for friends and buy them drinks sometimes. I have traveled alone, climbed mountains, tried marathons, I also run a company and a team just like you but I am not proving anything.
Believe it or not, I have no motives of putting you under my feet just like what other men told you. I’m just too strong and, honest to goodness, I can live my life to the fullest without you. Again, it’s not meant to insult you. We’re just real talking here.
As much as you want to do things for me, I’ll do it before you do. Independence flows in my veins. I don’t find it a need to let you know my agenda for the day. If you have questions so that you can know me more let’s talk about it on cigarette breaks and I’ll answer your queries at once. Don’t get me wrong, I’m just really like this.
But despite being an alpha woman, despite the strength that I have, I still want to be caressed, I want to be pursued and longed for. I still cry when I’m tired. I still get that lonely feels when it rains and I’m alone. No matter how strong I am, I want to see you after a long day in the office. I want to kiss you at the airport when I come home. I want to be cuddled on a bed-weather. Even if I think like a man, I need a man.
There are times that I cry in the shower because I can’t cry to anyone. I go on a long drive alone and turns my phone off just to exclude myself from the reality. And it only means that I have no one to run to when I’m so exhausted. It’s like people thinks that because I am strong I can face life’s disappointments alone.
I am not asking for your sympathy. I am just letting you know that behind all the labels the world attached me to, I also have a weakness. Just because I always can doesn’t mean I want to do it all alone.
The other day a man told me I am too much. I don’t know how but I get it. It’s the reason why it’s hard to love me. And these very words gave me fears of loving, of opening my heart to someone. Even to unleash that drop of beauty that is in me, I fear.
Dear men, I just want you to know that I still have issues with myself. And just because I am too much doesn’t mean I can’t love much.
August 09, 2019
August 01, 2019
July 25, 2019