RELATIONSHIP AND SEX
This is how it feels to walk away from another year alone…again
December 7, 2018
Another year is coming up.
One day you were just preparing for Christmas party, and all of a sudden you’re doing it again. One day you were figuring out what to do with your 13th month pay, and now you’re on the same page again. Trying to sort out how much will go to savings and how much will go to buying gifts and whatever. One day, you were falling in love and now you’re falling apart.
You see, there are some things that you do on the same season over and over. But there are some things that you do just because you’re doing it. Things that do not have seasons. Just like falling in love. They are not meant to happen on a certain season or time of the year. It happens when it happens.
Maybe around this time last year you were falling in love, you were head over heels about someone. Maybe around this time last year you were having coffee before a party. Maybe around this time last year you were crossing your fingers that it’s the plot-twist you’ve been waiting for. Maybe around this time last year you’re on video chat with someone waiting for 12mn to strike to greet Merry Christmas. Maybe around this time last year it was the best time to fall in love and your heart was close to sure that this is gonna be it. You’re going to start 2018 with someone.
But maybe things didn’t turn out the way you want them. Things didn’t happen the way your friends were excited about.
You walked out of 2017 alone and you’re doing it again this time.
It’s not new. It’s something that you’re not happy about but you’re not sad also. It’s just that your heart was already used to this kind of season. Maybe your heart was already expecting this and if there’s someone coming along, you’re grateful for it and if there’s none, it’s okay. Totally.
So here it is. This is how it feels when you walk away from another year alone…again.
You’re not expecting any more for the plot twist. But you know that it will come. You know that you have your plot twist. But maybe it’s not now or not the year coming or maybe…not in the way you wanted it. You’re just believing that you will have yours and it will come at a time when you don’t know and you’re not even expecting it.
This is how it feels to walk away from the year alone again, you want to kiss someone when midnight strikes or exchange gifts with someone. You also want to greet someone “Merry Christmas” over the phone and celebrate love on December. You are so waiting for the time that you’ll have reservations on a fine restaurant and enjoy good food or view with someone who looks at you like you’re the best gift the year has given them. But just in case these things in your head are not possible, that would be okay. Because it’s not important anymore how you’re celebrating it but who you’re celebrating it with. And you want that person to be worth waiting for until you’re spending Christmas with someone already.
For someone who is used to changing calendars alone, for someone who is used to brave each year alone, whether they have someone or none, it’s okay. Because deep down their heart, they always wanted to have only one person to spend their holidays with. And even the rest of their lifetime.
March 22, 2019
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March 07, 2019