RELATIONSHIP AND SEX
5 signs that you might be in a toxic relationship
Liah Gomez, Intern
June 19, 2019
Many of us have, at one point, found ourselves stuck in an unhappy relationship but unwilling to let go – because we’re optimistic that things might change. Love clouds your judgement. When you care about someone on that level, it’s hard to accept that they might not be the same person you fell in love with anymore. To quote Bojack Horseman, “when you look at someone through rose-coloured glasses, all the red flags just look like flags.”
Here’s a guide to those flags, for those colour-blinded by love.
1. YOU’RE THE ONLY PERSON THEY SPEND THEIR TIME WITH
It’s okay to be a little clingy with your partner. Sometimes, it can actually be kind of cute. But if you’re the only person your partner spends their time with, this could potentially become a key ingredient in a recipe for disaster. They could become excessively dependent on you, and that’s never a good thing.
2. YOU DON’T FIND YOURSELF MISSING THEM ANYMORE
This could be brought upon by two scenarios. Either you spend way too much time together that you don’t even get to miss one another, or you spend a lot of time away from them, but you actually prefer it that way. Both scenarios mean you don’t long for their company anymore, and what’s the point of being in a relationship with someone you don’t even want to hang out with?
3. THEY GET UPSET WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO SPEND YOUR TIME WITH OTHER PEOPLE
If your partner gets upset that you’re spending time around people who aren’t them, this is a major red flag and an early warning that they may be getting possessive of you. It’s good for you to spend quality time together, and this is important for your relationship to grow, but you also need to be able to maintain your relationship with your friends and other loved ones who deserve your time and attention, too.
4. SMALL FIGHTS ESCALATE WAY TOO MUCH AND WAY TOO QUICKLY
Have you ever found yourself in the middle of a huge fight with your partner, and when you look back to the root cause of it all, you realize it was something that was seemingly small and insignificant? Arguments with your partner are healthy, but to an extent. You don’t have to agree with each other all the time, but if you’re getting into yelling matches over your partner’s lack of respect for you just because you disagreed on a restaurant for dinner, you might have a bigger problem at hand.
5. THEY’VE THREATENED TO HURT YOU
Even if they don’t follow through with it, or even if they never even laid a hand on you, emotional and mental trauma is still a very real form of hurt. This is a hard line that nobody should ever cross, and if your partner has displayed this type of behaviour… Leave. Them. Now. This is not only toxic, but abusive. If you ever find yourself in a situation like this, you should get help. It isn’t normal for your partner to threaten to hurt you for any reason at all.
If you or anyone you know is stuck in an abusive relationship, you may contact the NBI VAWC (Violence Against Women and Children) Desk at 525-6028. Speak up. Stand firm. Stay strong.